Thoughtless Thoughts of Count Ray

Government Okays Indian Summers

2009-10-04T01:50:00.003+05:30

The script of director's Joe Wright's next period venture, Indian Summers based upon the book ndian Summer: The Secret History of the End of an Empire (2007) by Alex von Tunzelmann has been green-lighted by our right honourable government. Holy shit! Now Joe Wright's gonna make it before I even reach film school. Oh how bad I really wanted to make a film on that book. Damn Joe Wright! If I ever lay my hands on that person who gave him this idea... he's a dead man.

Well seriously now, government has indeed cleared the project, though of course with some riders, such as the presence of a government official at all times during the shoot and absolute non-deviance from the script. The fact that the film is going to be directed by Joe Wright comes as a relief actually from seeing his earlier period dramas like Pride & Prejudice (2005) and Atonement (2007) which were quite impressive. But there's always a fear that he might it make more 'British' in feel rather than Indian, which would be a great injustice to India and her struggle for freedom.

And yet another thing that worries me is the choice of casting Cate Blanchett and Hugh Grant as the Mountbattens. Now of course Cate Blanchett is a fantastic actress but it still doesn't help the fact that she's extremely ugly. Falling in love with her might be a little difficult for our screen Nehru. And then comes Mr. Hugh Grant. Believe me guys when I say Hugh Grant is one of my all time favourite actors, but ask anybody who has seen his films and they will agree that he will be a miscast as Mountbatten. With his fluttering eye-lids and nuanced mannerisms he will be best at imitating a dead Mountbatten, unless of course he suddenly decides to show his long elusive versatility.

For Mountbatten's role I got a suggestion. How about Mark Strong. If you have seen RocknRolla (2008), you know what I am talking about.

The Fall of David Dhawan

2009-10-03T00:36:00.003+05:30

The 'No. 1' guy, as he can be famously called, must be an rather unsatisfied man these days. After delivering hits after hits (financially speaking) in the last decade such as Biwi No. 1 (1999), Hero No. 1 (1997), Judwaa (1997), Coolie No. 1 (1995) etc, the present decade has offered him only flops. Except maybe Mujhse Shaadi Karogi (2004), all his other ventures had one thing written in bold on them - 'Beware. David Dhawan Inside'. He has directed 15 films since 2000 and out of those only 1 film could be called a 'hit'.

Ever wondered why the man once so famous as India's best comedy director, today so effortlessly bites the dust? Why the sudden transformation? Well his new generation films are almost as stupid as they were 10 years back. So is then the Indian audience finally maturing? No, can't really be sure of that. Films like the recently released Wanted(2009) are a case in point.

So what is it then? A combination of factors most probably. His over-reliance on a specific bunch of actors (did I mention Govinda?), extremely unimaginative and stupid storylines, predictable endings and a superb failure to come up with something even remotely new. The Indian public is an idiot, but even idiots can get frustrated if you test them a little too much.

Gomorra: A Review

2009-10-02T01:43:00.005+05:30

Good or bad, this film sure hits hard and hits it good. Directed by Matteo Garrone, it is based upon the novel by Roberto Saviano which deals with organized crime called Camorra (almost like the Mafia) in the Naples and Caserta region of Italy. A radical departure from the time tested conventions of gangster flicks, this movie tries to intertwine five separate stories of Italians whose lives are touched by organized crime (Camorra).

A little background information about the Camorra can come in handy in here since most people outside of Europe or of Italy for that matter, most probably haven't ever heard about it. Now according to the venerable Wikipedia, the Camorra is a mafia-like criminal organisation, originating in the region of Campania and the city of Naples in Italy. It finances itself through drug trafficking, extortion, protection and racketeering and its activities have led to high levels of murder in the areas in which it operates. It is the oldest criminal organisation in Italy. And according to the movie itself, Camorra accounts for the most number of deaths annually in the whole of Europe.

Talking about the movie itself, it sorts of blurs the distinguishing line between a studio-produced film and a documentary. It's gritty cinematography, shaky camera-work, non-glamorous approach and the lack of an structured narrative makes it extremely realistic but at the same time severely reduces its entertainment value. The bleak urban Italy painted in the film is a far cry from the regal beauty of the Italy shown in tourist brochures. The Italy in Gomorra is crumbling down upon its own stark, squalid and bloody foundations.

For the first 45 minutes the story is tough to get hold of, and it only starts to clear up after the 90 minutes mark. The film presents the viewers with such a huge number of characters and situations that it sometimes becomes quite tough to hang on to the storyline. There was very little interconnectedness, the characters just chopped in and out of the story without any apparent relevance and lacking any cohesion. It was the indeed only the common social fabric that binded all the characters together. Now this is both an achievement for the director as well as a tough nut for unsuspecting audience to crack.

The film is unique in more aspect as well, in the fact that it completely shakes itself free of any empathy for the characters which makes it extremely emotionally uninvolving. But the viewer is allowed to soak in the decadent atmosphere and for two hours co-exist in the world of Comorra. Lastly it must be said that the film manages to generate the same feeling of annoyance and intimidation that it tries to expose in the story. The film is more rather a portrayal of society at its edge.

PS: I have to agree though that for persons who relate more to the subject matter than ordinary people sitting in a different country in a different continent, it is bound to generate more respect and admiration.

Plus factors: Cinematography, plot, and characterisation.

Minus factors: Story, duration of the movie, choppy narrative and dialogues.

My Score: 5.5/10

Pokiri: A Review

2009-09-27T14:18:00.004+05:30

I am confused. Are totally mindless masala movies like these even supposed to be reviewed? So today let me hit this movie in a totally different way.

20 Things you learn from Pokiri:

1. Heroes have exceptional superhuman strength.

2. Heroes love to fight in sheds because it is a nice place.

3. You should never lose the keys of the shed after locking it.

4. The hero always dances and sings after a successful fight.

5. The hero loves to dance with girls in blue sarees.

6. You should wear 3 shirts on top of one another even in summers to look smart.

7. Guns used by the police have crooked barrels.

8. Girls like it when you stop them in railway stations and stare at their breasts.

9. Hero learns to use a pistol by seeing movies.

10. Police Sub-Inspectors are sex-starved and corrupt.

11. Villains love BDSM.

12. Hero's gun never needs to be reloaded.

13. The bad guys need to reload after every 2 shots.

14. Girls wear skimpy clothes and sing in hoarse voices to impress the hero.

15. The hero is better than even the desperado Antonio Banderas as he kills all the guys who come to kill him in his house. Even Banderas had to flee.

16. He loves to dance and sing with item girls in between a meeting with the head villain.

17. Good looking girls have bastard boyfriends.

18. All rogues are actually undercover police officers, or brothers of police officers.

19. Police SIs are dull minded.

20. Police Commissioner sends only 1 police officer to take down an entire gang of 20-30 hardened criminals. And that officer doesn't even care to take a gun!

P.S. I Love You: A Review

2009-09-22T00:34:00.002+05:30

"This is a movie that will leave you stunned and stupefied from beginning to end, if you don't head for the exits first. The only good things in it are Lisa Kudrow and Swank's wardrobe. The plot is unbelievable, although a competent script could have fixed that. The direction is flabby and uninspired, the casting is wrongheaded, and the performances run the gamut from uninteresting to insufferable ... the film wants terribly to be Ghost without a potter's wheel, but it just succeeds at being terrible."

This is what Mr. David Wiegand of the San Francisco Chronicle had to say. Well as for me, I won't be so harsh on the poor film, but would like to elaborate on a few points.

Firstly I would have liked it immensely if the story had been set in Ireland, as it was originally in the novel. It would had certainly increased the cinematographic options at the very least. Forgetting the rather ambitious plot and storyline, overall it looks quite clean and organized. But it has to be said that both direction and acting were at severe fault, as I felt no connection to any of the characters. Swank just didn't get her act right. Something was missing always. As for the rest of the actors and actresses, they were just about average. You should blame bad casting too.

Then comes the total duration of the movie which was simply too long. It was really hard to stop myself from quiting at 45 minutes. For a film over 2 hours long, it simply lacked the depth and the approach you would have expected. Even the soundtrack wasn't good enough.

But there were a few bright spots also. One of them being the rather nice chemistry between Hillary Swank and Gerard Butler (girls will love him!). And the other being Lisa Kudrow. And yes, I rather liked the ending. Didn't expect that.

Plus Factors : Story, chemistry between Swank and Butler, and Lisa Kudrow.

Minus Factors : Direction, casting, duration of the movie, script and the soundtrack.

My Score : 5/10

Back from Kolkata

2009-09-20T20:33:00.005+05:30

Yes, that's absolutely correct, I am just back after a nice little tour of Kolkata. Enjoyed quite a lot in those 4 days. Hung out with my college friends and old school friends alike. Went to Victoria Memorial after many many years (really liked the cannon with Bengali inscription upon it). Got drenched in rain on Park Street. Chilled out in City Centre. Got lost in Chandni Chowk. Discovered that the metro has no air conditioning system. And finally drank incredibly ordinary coffee costing Rs. 100! It was quite a tour, I must say.

There were some things which I did not like so much such as - the widespread dirtiness and the seemingly invincible aura of overall shabbiness, narrow roads, decadent attitude of the government, lack of any evident development and the low number of public buses and autos.

Now you are going to ask me what I really liked about Kolkata? Well then I have an honest answer - the bookstores, the ready availability of obsolete things (vinyl disc for instance) and the hot and fair girls of Kolkata.

Oxford, Starmarks, Crossword - all are so wonderful that I could easily spend a whole day in any of those. Its really bad that nothing like this exists in Durgapur. Bought some books from Starmarks and Crossword, namely Omerta, The Sicilian, and The Last Mughal.

Also bought some vinyl discs at dirt cheap prices right on the Chandni Chowk sidewalks.

And finally the girls. They come in all shapes, sizes and colours. And they are quite different too from the other big city girls. Not as flashy as Delhi girls, nor as decadent as the Mumbai girls. No sir, not yet.

Presenting the Memory Cleansing Drug

2009-09-14T16:15:00.005+05:30

Wow! Is this real man? Science really doesn't know any bounds, does it? I don't know how many of you have seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but it very well seems that the science-fiction drama may become a stark reality in the days to come.

In the most brilliant movie mentioned above starring the beautiful Kate Winslet and the equally wonderful Jim Carrey, both of them portray a couple who undergo a medical procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship turns sour. The scientists at Friedrich Miescher Institute in Switzerland have done something remarkably similar. They have developed (at least theoretically) a memory-cleansing drug that has the ability to remove any recollection of unhappy or embarrassing incidents, like childhood teasing or upsetting memories of a failed love affair. Pretty exciting, huh?

During the successful animal trials, the animals were given a drug that dissolves a barrier around amygdala - the almond-shaped organ in the brain where mammals store their memories of fear. It was found that after receiving the drug, the animals stopped being scared of sounds linked to electric shocks, indicating the memories had been erased. Homo sapiens share the same organ which can another way of saying that the drug can work on humans too.

Another big achievement of medical science, but aren't mistakes and unhappy memories the single biggest reason why we learn? With all our memories of our mistakes, our hard earned wisdom might go too, and our ability to learn and store.

ImHalal.com: Porn Free Search Engine

2009-09-13T18:33:00.004+05:30

Guess what I found a few hours back while surfing the net - ImHalal.com. It is a completely new search engine especially designed for muslims who wish to avoid any sort of pornographic material from accidentally creeping into their search. According to the makers it is only a tool for searching the net in a clean and safe environment. Their stated intention is to become the number one homepage in all Muslim households. They also plan to introduce Islamic widgets in the near future.

They make use of a two layer filter system. The first filter analyzes the World Wide Web and only returns clean results. The second filter which triggers the 'Haram' rating system is a more aggressive filter and according to them which still needs to be improved on some grounds but already is functioning pretty good.

Well I don't know why but this somehow keeps me reminding of the Chinese censorships imposed on the internet, though the guys at ImHalal are quick to deny any such thing. Anyways I am hoping for the best. So ready to be ranked by Haram ratings?

Glory: A Review

2009-07-23T23:03:00.002+05:30

While watching Glory (1989) one of my friends came calling and it was a couple of hours until he finally left. All this time I just couldn't wait to get back to the movie. This is the beauty of a good movie. Well now let's get to the job.

Glory is a American civil war saga about the Union's first all-black volunteer company with the main protagonist being the commanding officer of the regiment Colonel Robert Gould Shaw. The movie begins at the Battle of Antietam and follows through the formation of the black unit and its training, and ultimately ending at the storming of the Confederate held Fort Wagner. Directed by Edward Zwick (of Blood Diamond fame) the film is simply marvellous. Though there were quite a few historical inaccuracies, those were made good by the excellent direction. This is not just another mindless chauvinistic war movie, but rather a war drama as it tries to analyse the sentiments of the men charged with the responsibility of protecting the American Union. Matthew Broderick as the baby faced Col. Robert Gould Shaw does a great job, though sometimes he leaves something to be desired. But still after Ferris Bueller's Day Off (his movie which I saw last) he still manages to surprise me. Cary Elwes (one of my favourite actors) is also quite good, but his rather small role doesn't really justice to his capabilities. Denzel Washington as the hot headed Trip is one of the greatest characters in cinematic history and singlehandedly becomes the uncontested spokesperson of black anger. Morgan Freeman is his great self as usual, and Jihmi Kennedy plays a rather interesting cameo with a nice accent. One stand-out of this film is the near about absence of any female characters. And lastly a mention about the music by James Horner - simply fabulous. It almost doubles the impact of what we see on the screen.

Plus factors - Great direction, great script, great acting, great characterisation, good utilization of characters and great music.

Minus factors - Average cinematography and quite a few historical inaccuracies.

My Rating - 8/10.

The Day I saw 2 Movies

2009-07-18T00:07:00.006+05:30

Didn't have pretty much to do the whole day. Most of the time I fiddled around with FL Studio on some songs I had been working upon with Priyankar. And the rest of the time was spent watching two mindless films (pure timepass). One was Accepted (2006) and the other was She's the Man (2006), for the both of which I provide a little short review down below.

Accepted is a story about a guy, who after being rejected to every college he had applied to, sets up his own college to satisfy his parents.
Plus Factors - Good timepass, feel good movie
Minus Factors - Bad characterisation, stupid direction, highly flawed screenplay and average acting.
My Rating - 5.5/10.

She's the Man was the second movie, and I finished the 150 minute movie in about 20-25 minutes. Because I absolutely hated this movie. I hated it, hated it, and hated it. I hated every second of it that I watched. So I won't bother much with the review itself.
Plus Factors - A talented storyline
Minus Factors - Bad direction, bad dialogues, absolutely terrible acting, stupid screenplay, obnoxious casting and highly irritating.
My Rating - 2.5/10

Gorkhaland: The Solutions & Why Not

2009-07-16T12:08:00.005+05:30

After my last post about Gorkhaland (to which I received a lot of constructive criticism), this is the follow-up post. The issue of Gorkhaland is not inherently a complex issue, and therefore should not be made to look so. So let us look at the probable solutions one by one.

FIRST SOLUTION: Do nothing.

The state government does nothing and the central government turns a blind eye to the hills. How much steam does GJM have? It's all going to fizz out in a few months. And if still the agitations continue, well then lets suppress it.

Advantage: None in particular. Might satisfy some higher egos in the state government.

Disadvantage: Agitation continues, and all the harmful things associated with it (mostly financial). Plus, it leaves the issue open to dispute later.

SECOND SOLUTION: Merge Darjeeling with Sikkim.

Yeah, that saves the hassle of forming a new state, and must also placate the Gorkhas (Man, doesn't Sikkim also consists of mainly Nepalis?). But I don't think that's possible. If the Gorkhas are looking for an identity, Sikkim is hardly going to provide that. And ironically it was to save Sikkim's neck that the British had annexed Darjeeling from the Gorkhas. Plus I think any merger plans would be vociferously opposed by the SDF, the ruling party in Sikkim. This would be triggered by the fact that the population of Darjeeling is 3 times more than that of Sikkim. So any merger would see the rise of another strong party (GJM) in state politics, and this might very well cost Mr. Chamling is beloved chair.

Advantage: Saves the hassle of the formation of a new state.

Disadvantage: Fails in all other objectives.

THIRD SOLUTION: Form a new state, Gorkhaland.

This is what the GJM is presently dreaming about. A state of their own. So that they can say that, "I belong to Gorkhaland, and that's a state of India." Very well. So first let me state the various factors.

Favourable factors-
1. Land area comparable to Goa (the smallest state).
2. High population
3. Distinct language and culture
4. Success of smaller states like Goa and Sikkim

And now the unfavourable factors-
1. Land area even less than Goa (yeah, it counts both ways of the argument).
2. Strategic concerns (it lies in the chicken's neck corridor).
3. More governments mean more ministers. More ministers mean more bureaucrats. And all this means more cars, servants, houses, and ultimately more money (and so less money available for development).
4. Failure of smaller states like Manipur, Tripura, Nagaland (the other side of the same coin).
5. The wrong message to all other communities desiring their own states.

Advantages: Solution of the problem. Complete withdrawal of all strikes and agitation. Spurt in economy.

Disadvantages: Wrong message to other communities fighting for statehood. Plus the Bengali population in Siliguri might not be too pleased. Anti-Gorkhaland strikes and rallies. Siliguri might be kept within West Bengal (but this certainly won't find much favour with GJM). But hey, you win some, you lose some. You lose a city, but you win the state.

FOURTH SOLUTION: Declare Darjeeling to be an Union Territory (with partial statehood later on).

This would be more amicable to the Central Government, and would also solve the problem of identity which the Gorkhas feels so keenly. The Government of West Bengal too, I have reasons to believe, will be less opposed to this plan. The Lieutenant-Governor appointed by the Central Government might be chosen from any of the Gorkha Regiments. This would certainly go a long way in creating goodwill amongst the people of Darjeeling. Later on as the political climate stabilises in the state, Darjeeling (or Gorkhaland after renaming) can be conferred the status of partial statehood with its own elected legislative assemblies and the executive councils of ministers on the lines of the DGHC.

Advantages: Solution of the problem. Spurt in economy. Strategic interests will be taken better care of (Gorkhaland will be a frontier UT then).

Disadvantages: The issue can still be exploited by vested political interests. GJM might not be satisfied as it's leader Bimal Gurung will have failed to get the power for himself. His dreams of being the Chief Minister will be dashed.

Finally the choice lies with the Gorkhas. It will always be difficult to satisfy all the parties. But this doesn't mean that an agreement will remain forever elusive. All we need are a few compromises and a dilution of the excited egos on both side of the political fence. And God willing everything will be great.

Gurung's Gorkhaland

2009-07-15T15:37:00.007+05:30

The unruly Gorkhaland fiasco is again rearing its ugly head. And that head is ably represented by Mr. Bimal Gurung. The markets are closed, the roads are blocked, the schools and colleges deserted. Yippee! It's a strike. Sikkim is suffocating, the prices of commodities are increasing, tourism is taking a bad hit and all the people (whether a Bengali or a Gorkha) are getting equally inconvenienced. The police are to be seen nowhere, and for all reasons its a one party rule out there.

But on second thoughts this whole thing seems to be a little funny. The Gorkhaland issue first got prominence under the leadership of Subhas Ghising of the GNLF. The man lead a rather bloody struggle to achieve Gorkhaland, but then abandoned the struggle after the formation of the Darjeeling Hill Council. He got the power he so terribly wanted (evidently) and then ruled like a tyrant for 20 years. He had the power and the money, now why should he go on bothering on issues like development? And then steps into the scene the young and ambitious Bimal Gurung. He takes the cue from Guru Ghising and starts his morning walk following his footsteps. He forms his own party, proclaims his aim to achieve Gorkhaland and helps BJP win the Darjeeling LS seat (just like GNLF had helped Congress win the seat in the late 80s).

And if Gurung achieves Gorkhaland then after a period of time there will be yet another guy who will revolt against Gurung and form yet another party and then demand independence. The cycle will continue as history repeats itself.

My argument is that if Bimal Gurung really cares about development (as he professes in his huge rallies) then he can very easily do so in the present framework. Formation of a whole new state will do little in such a situation, unless of course, Gurung wants a personal fiefdom. Ghising had his DGHC, Gurung wants his own state. Rest of the story will be similar I guess - a single party state, a single leader, concentration of all the resources and power in one hand leading to - corruption and tyranny.

Thinking rationally, Gurung doesn't even have an premise for his demands. The West Bengal Government doesn't suppresses the people, nor their culture or traditions. For development DGHC is there. There is complete freedom and all the Gorkhas enjoy exactly the same rights as everybody else. And remember the more the number of governments, the more will be the common man taxed to elect and support the huge entourage of ministers (and deputy ministers, and bureaucrats, and cars, and buildings, and of course more corruption).

And if they think that Gorkhaland is required to save their identity, its all fine and good. According to them,
"The main reason for the demand for a separate state is the assertion of an Indian identity for the Gorkhas. Such an identity cannot be bestowed by any locally envisaged administrative systems. These are meant only for economic upliftment and social development."

But then that rule must be applied to all minority communities throughout India. For example lets take a look at West Bengal after applying this rule --
West Bengal can be broken up into 6 parts - Darjeeling, Cooch Bihar, Kamtapur, Santhal dominated areas, Murshidabad (for Muslims) and proper West Bengal.
Applying this rule we get some 90-100 states in India, and I wonder how possibly India could survive then. God bless India. Amen.

A Thing called Television

2009-07-14T13:13:00.006+05:30

People usually change after finishing school. Colleges are hot and happening, and the perfect catalyst for change, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the worse. Well fortunately the only change it influenced in me is related to my TV viewing habits - I don't watch TV anymore.

Ah! What a nice and relaxing change that really is. No TV. A luxury I don't want no more. In the past two years I must have watched no more 50 hours of TV. And that mostly includes the History Channel, VH1 , NDTV and a sprinkling of the sports channels. The reasons for such a radical change aren't too hard to find. I hate all the sick saas-bahu serials, I hate the sensationalized news by Aajtak, I hate the westernized degenerate nonsense of MTV, I hate all the silly stage-managed 'reality shows' and I hate all the stupid untalented 'celebrities' of TVdom. I can't pause or move forward or even rewind to watch my favourite scenes again. And damn I have to watch every one of those filthy advertisements. The end result - I can't stand TV anymore. I am finished with tolerating that box of mediocrity.

If I have to watch movies or listen to music, I have my laptop and ipod for that purpose. And of course reading, blogging, surfing, and hanging out with friends provide a much better alternative to watching that shitty TV. And yes, I love reading the newspaper.

A Maoist Morning

2009-07-13T12:17:00.003+05:30

Woke up at my usual timings, about 9:30 (and that too when threatened menacingly by mom). Brushed and gazed upon the newspaper. Damn! Those Maoists slayed some 30 policemen (including an SP!). Now this is too much. All the stupid state governments seems absolutely helpless against the hit-and-run tactics of these (severely misguided) guerrillas. So much so that the Islamic terrorists nowadays seem puny to these Chinese wannabes (with the Central government actually corroborating the fact).

I remember a few days ago, when this Lalgarh operation was at it's height, I happened to be at a mobile shop buying a recharge voucher. At that moment an extremely lean and thin man, with dense shoulder length hair, draped in clothes that might give even Mahatma Gandhi a run for his money, entered the shop. The guy was surely a tribal, that was quite evident. With a sort of stupid smiling grin eked on his face he slowly made his way over to the counter. He wanted to buy a mobile. He looked around a little and thereafter engaged in a lengthy discussion with the saleswoman (who was extremely fat, I might add). And there was I standing in a corner, looking rather suspiciously at this newcomer. All this tribal-maoist-lalgarh thing had made an impact. All tribals or even tribal looking people could now be branded as Maoists.

Two days later I saw (again) two rather tribal looking people on a motorbike near the aforementioned mobile shop. The first thought again in my mind was - 'Maoists'.

I really hate myself for that. This is like branding a whole community with the guilt of one. This is what war and hate makes us do. This is the same thing as saying that every Muslim is a terrorist, and that every damn Assamese belongs to the ULFA. This is what happened to the Irish during 'The Troubles' when every Irishman was thought to be the IRA, and this is what's happening now in this 'Global War on Terror' - whole communities are being branded for life.

And nobody's feeling sorry.

Just a bad day

2009-07-13T00:07:00.002+05:30

You know when you have one of those really bad days, when nothing seems to go your way, today was exactly like that. A damn BAD day. Now let me list all the bad things that happened today for posterity.

1. An extremely boring morning.
2. Got into a huge tiff with mom.
3. Learnt that friends change.
4. Got to know that I still don't know a lot of things about the only girl I care about.

Excuse my language, but this day was indeed fucking bad. And it's end finds me a little depressed and with an attitude that doesn't really revel in looking forward to the next day.

Lilja 4-ever: A Review

2009-07-11T23:12:00.007+05:30

Now what is this? It's a Swedish film (though mostly in Russian and not very famous). And how I came to know about it is a little story in itself.
I am a fan of the Bourne film series, and just out of curiousity (I simply love to read about my favourite films) I was researching about the whole series. While going about it I came across Oksana Akinshina who had a small role in the second Bourne film, The Bourne Supremacy. Reading further about her, I found that she was in a highly acclaimed film 'Lilja 4-ever' by a Swedish director, Lukas Moodysson a few years earlier (in 2002). From the inrefutable Sir Wikipedia I came to know that this film was about poverty and human trafficking in Europe. Hmmm... for a person like me sitting in India, it is sometimes a little tough to visualize such evils (usually associated with third world countries) amongst the picturesque slopes of Europe. The user comments in IMDb further tempted me, and at last I decided, "Yes! It must be viewed." And indeed it was.

Shot in a partly documentary manner and set in some former USSR republic, it is an extremely bleak drama about a girl named Lilja (pronounced Lilya). It's the story of her downward spiral as her life goes from bad to absolute hell. The starting scene with the Rammstein song 'My Heart Burns' sets the harsh tone of the film as it tries to highlight the dual issues of human trafficking and sexual slavery. The sex montages are successful in juxtaposing the ugliness of the world and of the men who take advantage of another's distress and the innocence of Lilja. Volodja's character is also quite touching, especially the rooftop scene with Lilja. The story and the charcterisation both score well, and speak volumes about the talent of Lukas Moodysson. The movies is sad, but it's sad for a reason.

Plus factors: Realistic direction, strong story, good characterisation, good acting.
Minus factors: Poor editing, poor sound mixing.
Overall: It's good, but could have been really better.
My IMDb score: 7/10

The Great Question of Article 377

2009-07-02T00:19:00.003+05:30

The whole country at the present moment seems to be in the throes of a second sexual revolution, with the spotlight on the 'criminality' of homosexuality. The government's favourable approach to decriminisation of homosexuality has almost light up a thousand candles for the homosexuality community. The almost daily rallies and gay pride parades are a testimonial to this fact. Intellectuals are having a field day espousing the cause, while the conservative circles are expectantly demonizing the move.

Well, as for taking sides, let me declare that I severely denounce Article 377. I vehemently believe that the government nor the police should have any right to censor or regulate own's sexuality, unless and until it is physically injurious to others. And if two consenting adults choose do something a little differently, and nobody's getting hurt, and nobody's complaining, what damn case can the police possibly have? Terrorists, militants, robberies, rapes, murders, scams, the police have already enough shite on their hands rather than bothering about this.

As for the Article 377 itself, I am presently not clear on its physical implications conviction-wise it had on the society till now because, frankly speaking, I never heard a person being 'convicted' of being a homosexual. So its only evident effect is the suppression of homosexuals, and disabling them from being open about their sexual status. And this is bad enough. Living a life with a major part of your personality suppressed is certainly not my idea of a life worth living.

Down with 377!!

Friday & Saturday

2009-06-28T19:37:00.002+05:30

And so I thought, let's write a post about how I spent my Friday and Saturday. Maybe ten years down the line it might make for some good reading.

Friday
10:00 am: Got up from sleep.
10:30 am: Went to DSP for another day of summer training.
02:00 pm: Came back home.
03:00 pm: Had to go to Arena for my printing and publishing class.
05:30 pm: Came back home.
05:45 pm: Accompanied mom and grandpa to the station to see off Mamu and Bubu.
07:15 pm: Came back home.
08:00 pm: Went to Bubka's farewell party. Had a great dinner (and discovered that I was the only one on a cycle!).
11:15 pm: Came back home.
11:45 pm: Went to sleep.

Saturday
09:30 am: Woke up.
10:00 am: Set out for DSP.
01:15 pm: Got back home.
03:00 pm: Left for my Arena classes.
05:30 pm: Got back home.
08:00 pm: Went to Shristi with Priyankar (Bangla bands came and performed on Saturdays).
10:30 pm: Home sweet home.
01:00 am: Sleep sweet sleep.

Gone were nice two days of my life.

The Best Movie Library you can get for free

2009-06-16T17:57:00.004+05:30

It's been a long search for the right movie collection software, but thankfully I can call that worthy. A movie buff like me can do very well with a movie collection organizing software which can also store the film crews, ratings, genres, posters, and a outline of the plot. There are a lot of softwares to this effect in the market, but unfortunately most of them come with a price tag. Now this spurned on a search for a free one which could do the job reasonably well.
With Google as my acting partner, I managed find some of these. Included were Movienizer, Griffith and Movie Manager. The next step was trying all of them out.
Lets start with Griffith. Griffith is still in a developmental state (may be that's why its free). It was quite unstable when I used it as evident from the frequent error messages. It also provides only the most basic functionalities.
The Movie Manager download consisted of an .rar package which lacked an exe file (or anything even remotely similar), thus hindering all my efforts to install it (pardon me if I was doing something very stupid). Couldn't really find a way.
Movienizer was easily the best of the lot. With great search scripts (you can write your own even) and a convenient choice of data fields, it was extremely user-friendly. Maybe its only drawbacks were -- uncustomizable report exports, and the inability to update the database automatically by itself. But one thing was certain, that this was the best you are going to get for free. So guys allow me to recommend this piece of free heaven.
You can get it here.

What's wrong with Karan Johar?

2009-06-09T23:09:00.006+05:30

Ladies and gentlemen, let me ask you of this one favour. The unsophisticated answer to the question above. The simple minded may hereupon think me to be not quite sane, or at best take me to be yet another arrogant smartypants. But before you form your own independent opinions of me (of which you are very much entitled to) consider the following.

Mr. Karan Johar has till date directed (or in the process of directing) 4 films. Out of those 4 films, 3 films are set abroad (US or UK).

He has produced (or in the process of producing) 8 films out of which 4 films are set abroad.

He is also the writer of the story or screenplay of 6 films, out of which an unprecedented 4 films are set abroad.

Why such obvious biasness to frame films in foreign lands, I earnestly ask of you, when the stories are as good (or as bad) of being set up in Indian locales as well. The usual motivation behind the the setting of stories in foreign lands should at least theoritically have something to do with the land itself, and/or its people. Johar's film's alas, fail to achieve either objective. His films and scripts have absolutely nothing do with the ordinary people, their struggles or their opinions. And he most certainly cares neither for the history or culture of those foreign lands. He simply chooses the foreign locations just for the girls in bikinis, high-end and glamorous lifestyle, the 'cool' look and for their exotic beauty. Pretty disgusting for any person who appreciates fine cinema.

For example why was Kal Ho Naa Ho shot in the US? And what difference did that make other than in the categories mentioned above? Nothing. He got even the 'firangees' to dance and sing (really pity them!). The story could just have been set in India too.

That's the real difference between classy directors like Meera Nair and irritating filmmakers like Karan Johar. Films like Monsoon Wedding and The Namesake made full utilization of the lands they were set in. Monsoon Wedding smelled so incredibly full of that Punjabi-Delhi marriage spirit, while The Namesake could convey the meaning of the busy Kolkatan landscapes as well as the loneliness amidst the snowy vastness of the American-scape. But films like Kal Ho Naa Ho, Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna, Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham and Dostana make a mockery of the audience. And I certainly cannot ever appreciate that.

Some people say he is supposedly catering to the NRI markets abroad, and that he is finding new markets for Bollywood films. But I say he is doing nothing other than branding out C grade films in Hollywood packaging to infantile foreign audiences, to the detriment of the art called Cinema of India (and that's NOT Bollywood!).

By the way I am confused about what Johar is trying to show in his films. He most certainly isn't showing India (or REAL Indians for that matter), and he most certainly isn't showing US. Any suggestions?

Damn

2009-06-07T23:35:00.002+05:30

Really can't believe I am writing a post after 2 years. 2 damn years man!! That's bad. Really bad.

Writing is such a good thing. It sort of keeps you in the midst of things, of some good, healthy activity. I am home now. College really leaves you with no time to peruse this small and healthy activity. So home might just be able to help me a little in this regard.

So without any further delay let's start posting man!!! Yahoo!

Hoping I am back again

2007-08-04T17:18:00.000+05:30

Yeah!! That's the truth, the plain and simple truth, which of course, as the great Oscar Wilde pointed out, never is. Well, the thing is that I am now at a college amidst the great slopes of the Himalayas in the tiny state of Sikkim, studying (absolutely against my wish) for an engineering degree. Presently I am typing this sitting in the cyber cafe of the college (without the coffee of course). Getting a seat here is extremely difficult, considering the fact that is the only point for accessing internet for miles around. As I said before too, this college is too literally on the slopes of the Himalayas (with the sherpas for company). The nearest town is Rangpo (I would rather call that a village), about 15 minutes ride from here.

To my surprise, I found the seniors quite helpful, and there was only nominal ragging (which even we enjoyed!!). And yeah, one thing that I was forgetting to tell you was that, the river Teesta flows right by the side of the hostels. A sheer 20 meters away!

Anyway, got loads to tell (or rather type), but the time does not allow me any more liberty. Will post soon...

A President for India

2007-06-18T20:15:00.000+05:30

It's time that Kalam steps down and a new person steps up for the post of President of India. And it's really sorry to see the present nominees for the post.

"We need a good President this time." said the Congress supremo Sonia Gandhi.
"Yes, of course Madame." said her humble servant Shivraj Patil.
"Not a person who thinks."
"Of course, Madame."
"What is the head for?", asked Sonia Gandhi earnestly.
"For scratching madame."
"Right. You will make a good President. At least you won't take time thinking before signing, when important bills are sent to you."

At that moment the Left Party representative got up, and in the most earnest voice possible (by his standards) said before the assembled audience, "This is absolutely not possible. How can we accept a person who believes in Sai Baba as the President of India? It's against the great secular fabric of the nation."

Sonia Gandhi eyed the representative apprehensively for a moment and then turned to her secretary, "Those are our allies right."
"Err...yes madame."
Then she turned her gaze to a portly and bald fellow sitting in the far corner. "Ah, you can be a good President too. You belong to the enlightened group of non-thinking individuals and you are pretty much powerless too, plus you would surely be acceptable to the Left parties."

"Aye", nodded the Left Party representative approvingly.

"But madame we need Pranab Mukherjee in the Cabinet. His prowess in securing extremely profitable deals is known far and wide. His absence would be a great loss", remarked her secretary anxiously.

"A loss for the nation?"
"Terrible loss for the party madame."
"Ah, then it's terrible I guess."
"Absolutely madame"

"It seems that we have a shortage of Presidential matter", declared Sonia Gandhi most gravely.

"Aye", nodded the Left Party representative approvingly.

Suddenly the secretary (who was, by the way, her political adviser as well) leapt up in the air and exclaimed, "But of course we have the esteemed Mrs. Pratibha Patil. Silly me, I actually forgot."

"Who's that?", asked Sonia Gandhi in total surprise.
"Nobody, but perfect for being President."
"What does she do?"
"Nothing"
"No I meant apart from that what does she do."
"Oh. Well when last seen or heard she was the ...err...well...ah yes, the Governor of Nagaland."
"I thought she was the Governor of Rajasthan", said a concerned onlooker.
"Whatever."

"Hmmm. What was the name?", asked Sonia Gandhi with a unmistakeable glow in her eyes.
"Pratibha Patil."
"Pratibha Patel?"
"Oh no, it's Patil with an 'i' ".
"I see".

"Can I see her now?"
"Of course madame. I had her specially called in", added her secretary and then in a hoarse voice called out, "Mrs. Patillllll...".

There was no answer. He called again. Still no answer. Now he went out of the room to see what's the matter.

Back inside the room Sonia Gandhi was biting her lips in thankful anticipation. A little later her secretary entered with the sudden Presidential candidate Mrs. Pratibha Patil.

"What took you so long?"
"Last minute jitters. Was in the toilet. You can surely understand the situation, madame", replied her secretary speaking on behalf of the speechless Presidential candidate.
"Surely I understand. That's why I am not the Prime Minister of Italy....errr...I mean India."

"Aye", nodded the Left Party representative approvingly.

"Being in the toilet shows that you can be a perfect President. Do you speak?", asked a smiling Sonia Gandhi.
"Err...actuallyyy...ee...well...I mean...errr", said the Presidential hopeful.
"Good! Do you think?"
"Err...pardon...err....err"
"Very good indeed! Have you ever done anything good for this country?"
"Good things? err...MLA...err....MP too."
"Excellent! People who have done something good for their country always make dangerous Presidents", Sonia Gandhi affirmed firmly.

"Aye", nodded the Left Party representative approvingly.

"So ladies and gentlemen I am glad to announce that at long last we have found our President. But before proggressing...". At this moment Mrs. Gandhi's speech was stopped by a sudden exclamation from the BSP supremo Miss Mayawati.

"We won't support her", declared Mayawati.
"Why so?", asked a worried Sonia Gandhi.
"Because I am still stuck in corridors."

Seeing the lost look on the Congress supremo's face her secretary whispered into her ear, "She is referring to the corridor case."
"Which corridor?"
"The Taj Corridor."
At this information she turned a bright red and whispered furiously into her secretary's ear, "What is she more concerned about? Corridors of the Taj or the corridors of Rashtrapati Bhavan?"
"But madame that is actually a corruption case. And to her disappointment it is being investigated by the CBI."
"Doesn't the CBI have better things to do? And what is Funmohan doing?"
"Funny things."
"Such as..."
"Trying to build roads and increasing the economic developement rate."
"Well ask him to transfer his attention to this problem and remove the CBI from this case. Make those guys investigate Godhra again."
"You are sooo clever madame."

"So Miss Mayawati I hope that you will support our candidate now as there will be no CBI to bother you."
"Of course. You are indeed sooo good", said a beaming Mayawati.

"But we still don't support", said the Shiv Sena representative.
"But sir", whispered his aide, "She is a marathi and a hindu too."
"OK. We support."
"Good...", said a relieved Mrs. Gandhi.

"At least everybody present here will agree that we most certainly don't want another Kalam as the President. The President should always give his attention to Dalits, Muslims, Christians, SCs, STs, OBCs etc. and not towards children", said a confident Congress head.
"Absolutely right madame", added her secretary earnestly.
"Aye", nodded the Left Party representative approvingly.
Mrs. Gandhi continued, "They give you votes. But do children give votes? Never."
"Aye".

"So before leaving the meeting, a cheers for the new President of India. Hip Hip Hurray!!"
"Aye, Aye".

Lazy Me in Good Times

2007-06-17T11:39:00.000+05:30

Ah, it's been quite a time I last wrote a post. No excuses. Just a lazy me, a very lazy me. But at last I picked myself up for some 'work'. Indeed this period does seems like total bliss (well sometimes not so 'bliss', especially when the results come out). Nowadays I have practically nothing to do. No responsibilities, no worries (for most of the part though). So these days you are most likely to find me reading some novel, or just listening to music, or at some friend's house, or maybe just fiddling around.

But I do have some plans for this time, and I will indeed try my level best to do them. And that does include some more posts in good time.

It Ends...Finally

2007-06-03T16:58:00.000+05:30

After 6 whole months of trials and tribulations (and that too under the worst conditions imaginable), at last I can see the bright red of a brand new dawn. I can feel the dewy freshness right on my skin, permeating through my senses right to the soul. The mind is light, freed of the heavy responsibilities, expectations, hopes and aspirations of a past generation. OK...Stop!

I was getting a bit carried away maybe, but why I shouldn't be? At last I am free. Free! Free! Yes freed from the damnable season of exams. Because today was the day when I gave my last exam. Yahoooo! At last it's all over.

This hell began in the cold month of December. First came the 'First Pre-Board' exam, and along with it some rather uncomfortable severe pain in my poor old tummy. Understandingly the first thing that I did after my discharge from the exams was to get charged into the DSP General Hospital up here. It was a case of Cholelithiasis or Gallstone.

January arrived with the stones in my gall bladder, tension in my head, and the 'Second Pre-Board' examination in my school. And you can bloody guess how great was this combination. Considering the extreme pain, I was lucky to pass the exam. After the exam ended I made my way to a Kolkata hospital. And quite luckily I even made it to the farewell function in our school (that's another story).

February came with a ever growing dilemma. To give the boards or back out. I was against dropping all throughout, but my teachers, parents and relatives had quite the opposite opinion. Anyway at the need I prevailed.

Gave my practicals in February, and started with the Board exam in March. The last exam was on the 4th of April. And after that started the competitive exams. IIT-JEE (Mom's folly), WB-JEE, AIEEE, Manipal UGET, COMEDK all were in the list.

Well till how long can a person keep on poring over study books. I was exhausted. But my 15th of August is today. Maybe life begins now...

My Initiation Into Rock

2007-05-31T00:23:00.000+05:30

Nowadays anybody who knows me personally has ample knowledge of my madness about a peculiar phenomenon usually known throughout the world as Rock Music. But yes, there was a day when I was completely ignorant about this whole business of rock, when Beatles and Elvis were merely some names that appeared here and there like thousands of other names. So how did Animesh the Ignorant became Animesh the Enlightened? Let's find out the answer.

My family was always into music, especially my dad. When I was young, he would almost sit daily with his harmonium and engage in another round of Rabindra Sangeet. But whether this really had any effect on me, I don't actually know, as until class 7 when I was about 12, I had almost no interest in music. As far as I can remember now, the virus of music began to infect me from class 8. The pioneer virus (as I would like to stylize it) was the music of the incomparable Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne, composed by the great maestro Satyajit Ray himself (I intend to write something on this in the future). And that was the record which pulled the trick. I had all the songs in a single cassette (which was actually a legacy of my mother) and I remember playing it over and over again in that Sanyo cassette player. Well, 5 years down the line and it's still among my all time favourites.

In the same year I began exploring western pop songs (all from cassettes still) which included some Backstreet Boys, a little of the Beastie Boys and a sprinkling of Cliff Richards as well. The reader may note that at that time these names mattered very little (if indeed anything at all), and all that mattered was that I was listening to English songs!

Class 9 came and with it came my computer and it changed my whole life forever. Accessing music was no problem now (provided I stopped playing games on the comp). Classes 9 and 10 were spent drowned in the music of Backstreet Boys, Westlife, Michael Learns To Rock (MLTR) and some other pop groups. The only rockers in my life at that time were maybe Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi, and a peeping Linkin Park. But class 11 saw me leaving the false façade of pop and pop culture and embrace rock and its ethos, especially DIY. It was not only the musical aspect that precipitated this change, but the ideology associated with real rock (a little of which tallied with my own independent thinking).

By this time I was completely into Rock music. Slowly in a span of 2 years I discovered Aerosmith, Beatles, Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, Limp Bizkit, Metallica, Pink Floyd, Queen, R.E.M., Scorpions, The Police, AC/DC, Def Leppard, Bruce Springsteen, Guns N' Roses, Green Day, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Nirvana, Rolling Stones etc etc...

So that's my story. Maybe by western standards I am not that ardent rock fan, but by desi Indian standards indeed I am.

Hail Rock!!

Broadband from Toilet??

2007-05-24T01:11:00.001+05:30

Yes man, what you are reading is very, very true if Google is to be truly believed. The new Google TiSP(Beta) provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines. TiSP stands for the Toilet Internet Service Provider. Google TiSP project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system. Google TiSP takes advantage of pre-existing plumbing and sewage systems and their related hydraulic data-transmission capabilities for delivering data from local networks into individual homes. Full home self-installation kit is provided to the users who sign up online for the TiSP system.

What an extremely brilliant idea. Especially for those who do their best thinking in their toilets!

These are some excerpts from the installation manual designed to help customers install TiSP in their bathrooms :

#1 Remove the spindle of fiber-optic cable from your TiSP installation kit.

#2 Attach the sinker to the loose end of the cable, take one safe step backward and drop this weighted end into your toilet.

#3 Grasp both ends of the spindle firmly while a friend or loved one flushes, thus activating the patented GFlush™ system, which sends the weighted cable surfing through the plumbing system to one of the thousands of TiSP Access Nodes.

#4 When the GFlush is complete, the spindle will (or at least should) have largely unraveled, exposing a connector at the remaining end. Detach the cable from the spindle, taking care not to allow the cable to slip into the toilet.

#5 Plug the fiber-optic cable into your TiSP wireless router, which has a specially designed counterweight to withstand the centripetal force of flushing.

#6 Insert the TiSP installation CD and run the setup utility to install the Google Toolbar (required) and the rest of the TiSP software, which will automatically configure your computer's network settings.

#7 Within sixty minutes -- assuming proper data flow -- the other end of your fiber-optic cable should have reached the nearest TiSP Access Node, where our Plumbing Hardware Dispatchers (PHDs) will remove the sinker and plug the line into our global data networking system.

#8 Congratulations, you're online! (Please wash your hands before surfing.)

They even have some more offers for you. They go something like this :

Professional Installation Service
You can also choose to request our professional installation service, which dispatches an army of factory-trained, sub-contracted nanobots from the TiSP Access Node. The nanobots travel with exhilarating nano-speed through the sewer system and into your home to perform the installation service, which should be complete within 15 minutes. Note: For your own physical safety and emotional well-being and in consideration of the nanobots' working conditions, please make absolutely certain that your toilet is unoccupied at the scheduled appointment time.

In-Commode Package Delivery
With professional installation service, you can also have your Google Checkout purchases delivered directly through the sewage network into your bathroom. Each package comes pre-sealed in a watertight and nanobot-resistant bag made of biodegradable corn-based plastic. For a limited time, TiSP subscribers who sign up for a Checkout account will receive free bathroom delivery on their first ten Checkout purchases.

And if all this wasn't enough, there is some more in the FAQ section :

How can Google offer this service for free?
We believe that all users deserve free, fast and sanitary online access. To offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward. Google also offers premium levels of service for a monthly fee (see below).
Note: We take your privacy very seriously. So we treat all TiSP users' waste-related personal information with tremendous discretion, in accordance with our Privacy Policy.

Is this offering a tiered service? How does Google's position on Net Neutrality effect TiSP?
Although we understand that there's a lot of crap on the web, we also believe strongly in providing equal opportunity access to all our users. While we won't limit your surfing choices, we do offer three levels of TiSP service:

Trickle

The #2

Royal Flush

Download speed (max)

8 Mbps
(10X basic DSL)

16 Mbps
(20X basic DSL)

32 Mbps
(40X basic DSL)

Upload speed (max)

2 Mbps

4 Mbps

8 Mbps

Price

Free

$9.95/mo.

$24.95/mo.

Actual speeds will vary, depending on network traffic and sewer line conditions. Users with low-flow toilets may simultaneously experience a saving-the-environment glow and slower-data-speed blues.

Is Google TiSP safe and reliable?
Google TiSP ensures reliable throughput through the power of fiber, which has been proven through extensive research to effectively facilitate consistent data flow with minimal latency. And you can rest assured that under no circumstances will the TiSP system ever expose your privates.

What are the system requirements?

· Windows XP/Vista (Mac and Linux support coming soon)

· Internet Explorer 6.0+ or Firefox 1.5+ with the Google Toolbar

· Round-front or elongated toilet providing at least 1.0 gallons per flush

· Use of automatic toilet bowl cleaners is not recommended

To view the official website you can click here. I guess I will be applying for it the moment it is launched in India.

PS: This shitty PS is only for the stupid guys out there who think that Google got the better of me.

Rock N' Roll's 15 Most Embarrassing Stage Antics

2007-05-22T22:45:00.000+05:30

So as I promised yesterday, I am back today with the second part of the series. Hope you guys enjoy this one as much as you did the first part. But in case you have missed the first part of the series, don't worry, be happy and just click here.

9. David Bowie was forced to leave the stage 20 minutes into a 2004 show in Oslo after he was hit with the thin white stick from a lollipop, hurled by a fan, which lodged inside his left eyelid. Ah that is really sad.

10. Shock rocker Alice Cooper "retired" the huge snake that had been in his show for decades after an incident at the House of Blues in L.A. during which the snake pooped, and pooped some more. "I never expected there to be eight piles the size of a Doberman pinscher," Cooper later told Rolling Stone. "My whole stage costume was covered, and it smelled so bad I was gagging." Now this is what I call snaky shit!

11. Singers forget lyrics all the time, but preferably not in front of the President of the USA. During a Kennedy Centre honours tribute to Dolly Parton, Jessica Simpson abruptly stopped in the middle of her performance of Parton's big hit '9 to 5.' "Dolly, that made me so nervous," she blurted before running offstage.

12. The Who have always been one of rock's most fiasco-prone bands. No one held a candle, however, to the late Keith Moon, whose piece de resistance was the explosion he rigged to go off during the band's 1967 appearance on 'The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour.' More powerful than planned, it propelled the drum kit and Daltrey airborne. See the video below

13. Fleetwood Mac celebrated their status as the world's biggest band by incorporating a 70-foot penguin into their act. The problem with this particular enormous plastic waterfowl was that it was always flaccid. "It would never fully inflate," recalled Lindsey Buckingham. "This thing was always limping and floundering at the back of the stage."

14. At Woodstock '94, Green Day took the fabled festival's legendary history of muddy conditions to the punk-rock extreme, starting an epic mud-fight with the audience. With the stage filled with muck-covered fans, bassist Mike Dirnt was mistaken for a trespasser by a security guard, who leveled the musician, knocking out several teeth.

15. It was a travesty of a mockery of a sham when U2, the world's BIGGEST band, got trapped inside a 40 foot lemon shaped pod when it malfunctioned, trapping them inside, during the 1997 Popmart tour.

The series is concluded, and I sincerely hope that you guys liked it. And as usual, comments are welcomed!

Rock N' Roll's 15 Most Embarrassing Stage Antics

2007-05-21T23:25:00.000+05:30

Many independent publications have regularly brought out things like 'Most Embarrassing Moments', 'Pop Music's Worst Moments Caught on Tape', 'Embarrassing Moments in 2006' etc etc. But here I found a rather unusual list, and man sure it is funny!

1. First on this infamous list is the Black Eyed Peas. The day after a Peas concert in San Diego, the Net was packed with pictures of Fergie on-stage with a huge wet spot on her crotch. Initially her publicist claimed that the stain was just "sweat," but later on Fergie finally confessed that she'd had a few drinks before the show and "didn't think to go to the bathroom" before they went on stage. "We were jumping around . . . it was all very rock 'n' roll. And my bladder just started . . . you know."
Shame Shame!!

2. Lip-syncing poster boys Milli Vanelli were busted on a 1989 MTV tour when the tape jammed as they mouthed 'Girl You Know It's True.' The public later learned that the duo hadn't sung its own vocals in the studio, either.

3. Kurt Cobain may have had a self-destructive streak a mile wide, but it was bandmate Krist Novoselic who put himself in harm's way during the 1992 taping of the MTV Video Music Awards. Near the end of the song 'Lithium', Novoselic tossed his bass in the air. The guitar hit him squarely on his head, and the dazed musician stumbled offstage.

4. Onstage in Mansfield, Massachusetts, in 2004, Cyndi Lauper threw her head back to hit a high note -- and took a direct hit from a defecating bird flying overhead. Holy shit!!

5. During Ozzy Osbourne's 'Diary of a Madman' tour a giant catapult designed to look like a hand was set up to fling raw calves' livers and pig intestines into the audience. At one gig, the slaughter fell far short of its destination, landing on. . .Ozzy's head.

6. Sean Diddy tried to pull a page from the grunge playbook when he attempted a stage dive at a nightclub in Ibiza, Spain, in 2005. Instead of catching the rapper, fans moved away, and Diddy slammed to the floor. Wham!!

7. The Band's 'Last Waltz,' their farewell concert at San Francisco's Winterland Ballroom on Thanksgiving 1976, was extravagant: a Who's Who of guests (Dylan, Clapton, Neil Diamond), and, by all accounts, a backstage smorgasbord of illicit substances. During Neil Young's appearance, the oblivious singer had a gob of cocaine clearly lodged in a nostril.

8. The Rolling Stones' massive 1969 concert in London's Hyde Park became an impromptu tribute to their fallen mate Brian Jones. Mick Jagger read from Shelley's elegiac 'Adonais' before releasing thousands of butterflies -- most of which were already dead.

This is part one. I will be posting the second part soon. Till then enjoy this one, and of course, comments are welcomed.

PS: To view the second part click here.

Cool Blog Tools

2007-05-20T19:56:00.000+05:30

Since I started blogging about 6 days back its been quite a journey. I searched numerous sites on effective blogging. Initially my stress was not really on generating more traffic (didn't know about that aspect at all!). It was all just to make my dear little blog look a bit better. But as I delved further into the world of blogging, to my amazement I found it to be quite vast and profitable.

So here I give some cool blog links that I found to be quite good, and useful too. Of course a lot remains about which I still haven't come to know. But for starters like me, these are just great. So enjoy!

(The sites have not been listed in any particular order)

1. www.sxc.hu : Simply a great storehouse for stock photos. Excellent for guys searching for some great images for their blogs or websites. And the best thing about this is, it's all free!

2. www.mybloglog.com : A good site where you can form blog communities, and get some widgets for your blog.

3. indiablogs.org : If you are Indian and blogging, this is the place to list your blog.

4. www.neoworx.net : This is the BEST site to get extremely high rated widgets. But the worst thing about this is that you need to pay for this. But you can have it for a limited time period for trial purposes. I recommend you to at least check it out once.

5. www.blogthings.com : This site has many small enhancements for your blog, though most of them are quite silly. But it does have some good things, you just got to find it out.

6. www.ezinearticles.com : A site where you can submit your articles, and hereby increase the traffic to your blog. But this is for the really capable and serious guys.

7. www.librarything.com : Highly recommended!! Here you can build up your own virtual library and show off your literary tastes with the help of a nice widget provided on the site itself.

8. www.imagini.net : A really cool site. Just sit back and choose some images that really appeal to you and lo! your whole 'Visual DNA' is ready, and also ready to be placed on your blog. Recommended!

9. Google Analytics : A must for every blogger! Another excellent service (it's free!) from Google. Here you will get a plethora of information about from blog, from the number of visitors, to the loyalty percentage, detailed maps, graphs etc etc...just ask for it.

10. ClustrMaps : Another great blog tool which displays dots on a world map from where you has visitors. Though it's update frequency is real slow, but still it's a nice utility as it comes for free.

These are some of the great sites that I have come across in the last few days and found to be quite useful. You can try them out, and if you have questions feel free to ask me. Any other comments are also welcome. If you think that I left out real cool site (which I must have) please do let me know. Maybe I will be listing more sites as I come across them in the coming days.

Islamic Bicycles??

2007-05-18T11:38:00.000+05:30

It's seems that Iran's an innovative palce, and it's mad mullahs quite creative after all! Not a day seems to pass without the (so called) leaders thinking of new and exciting ways to control the people. What are they so worried about? Read this, and then get a load of the new bike.

Iran is to start manufacturing "Islamic bicycles" for women that conceals their figure, the government newspaper of Iran reported on Thursday. "This bike has a cabin which conceals half of the cyclist's body," the newspaper said. Elaheh Sofali, an architect of the project, told Iran it would encourage women's sports in the Islamic republic. Faezeh Hashemi, a daughter of former president Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, was instrumental in encouraging women to take to the saddle in the 1990s when she was in charge of women's participation in the Olympics. But she was opposed by Islamic hardliners.

Well really, that's what happens when you hand over the reins of power to a couple of madmen. Imagine yourself in a cabin on your cycle! My, my I would die laughing. But certainly this is not a very humorous thing back there in Iran. The question is whether the bicycle will be mandatory for women or merely an optional alternative. If obligatory, then "Islamic bike" will take civil rights restrictions in Iran to new lows.

Well as far the reports go, it all seems to be another 'Islamic' decree. But some rather funny conspiracy theorists have already started blaming some 'mad businessman', who according to them, is trying to monopolize the bicycle market!

Well, any guesses for the next 'Islamic' decree? Even while walking down the road, cover yourself in tin boxes (apart from the burqa of course)! More 'protection' you see...

PS: Iran's human rights case is already too famous to be talked about. The exact context of the video below is not clear. But it is apparently a woman being arrested as part of the "wear your hijab correctly or else" crackdown in Tehran. Note the nice kick at the end. Such videos are abundant in mighty Youtube

Lightning? Get Wet!

2007-05-18T01:18:00.000+05:30

I know its incredible, but that's the truth. And its not me who's saying, but some really knowledgeable people on Discovery.

Yesterday, at the usual dinner table fight over the remote with my mother (my father prefers to fix his attention on the food only), it was I who came out trumps (quite surprisingly). So instead of Virrudh, it was now Drama on Discovery. The subject of the show, as I understood, was lightning and its probable effect on a human being (unfortunately I had already missed the first 30 minutes of this incomparable show). Anyway, something is always better than nothing. The 'Drama' revolved around a person (Ah! forgot the guy's name) who was a victim of a thunder strike. And the thing of wonder was that this guy survived! But certainly with huge handicaps. He now walks with a limp, and lives with a severely affected nervous system. The magnitude of the devastation wrought on his nerves was so much that, as an experiment revealed, he could not feel electric shocks of 400 volts whereas a normal human being will jump out of his chair at 30!!

And so, the mission of the team was to find out how he survived, maybe with severe disabilities, but still the guy survived. How? The answer to this question proved to be quite elusive as several hypothesises failed to provide any satisfactory solution. At last, a professor of physics (a bald guy with a Russian name), provided the theory that would ultimately solve the mystery. He elucidated that when lightning falls on the body an extraordinary phenomenon takes place known as 'flashover'. Flashover is an unintended high voltage electric discharge over or around an insulator, or arcing or sparking between two or more adjacent conductors. In layman's language it means that most of the lightning falling on your head is disbursed around you by being conducted to the ground by the skin, leaving only 1%, which goes right through your body. Now even that 1% comes to be around 5 Amperes, which is more than enough to kill you right on the spot. Then how did the guy survive? Surely not just due to 'flashover'.

At the time when the cruel lightning struck it was raining cats & dogs, and he was literally dripping, soaked completely in water top to bottom. And this is what precisely saved him! As further experiments in the University of Manchester proved, 'flashover' is greatly facilitated by water, which makes the skin a better conductor. Thus most of the current flows outside the body and only the tiniest part actually enters the body (well, even that 'tiniest' part isn't that tiny after all). So friends, if it's lightning and you are in the open, make sure that you get wet first!

PS: These shows make TV something more than just an 'idiot box'.

Again PS: I found this link while surfing on the net. This is about a man, Roy Sullivan, who was struck by lightning an incredible 7 times, but managed to survive each time!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roy_Sullivan

Asansol Junction

2007-05-15T23:45:00.000+05:30

I was to go to Bangalore, the premier city of Karnataka, on the 3rd of May. We had to board the train from Asansol. Catching a local train from the Durgapur Railway Station in the evening, we reached there at about 7 p.m. (it's a 45 minutes journey), one and a half hour before the scheduled departure of the train. So in the free time with nothing better to do, I took upon the task of strolling and exploring the station.

It's an old station and quite dirty too (like most good old stations). But still a railway station is always a fascinating place, given the huge number of different hues and colours you get to see. So I was there, standing right at the edge of the platform observing the train that had come to a halt on the opposite track. Then suddenly set apart from the crowd that was jostling its way all around me, came a figure, a very slim figure if I am allowed to add, with a unsteady walk, almost like that of a dead man, and with a pair of hollow, dead eyes. He was very dark, almost as dark as the coal which passes through the Asansol Junction to end up in the boilers of the Ruhr of India. Needless to say, his clothes were ragged, torn and shabby. But the strange thing in all of that was an innocuous little pair of sunglasses wound around his neck! Seeing such reckless extravagance on such a poor body, I shaked my head, and the bubbles of sympathies that were forming in my heart burst soon thereafter.

The man, or should I use another word, for he must have been no more than 20, kept moving in my direction. With the bursting of the bubbles, and seeing such a dirty fellow moving towards me and with no intention of changing his direction, I endeavoured to change my position. After all I had to get away from this terrible 'scum'. But suddenly, it almost seemed involuntary, he changed his direction and leapt on to the tracks, and made his way to the sides of the train of which I have spoken of earlier. I took it for granted that he is going to get up on the train and go to the next platform (these people often do like that) or maybe he's going to beg in the sleeper coaches of the train. But contrary to my expectations he kept moving alongside the still train, with his eyes fixedly on the ground. The ground, as I had spoken of earlier, was extremely dirty. It can better be defined as a garbage dump (coupled with a drain carrying the most obnoxious materials possible). And from that literal garbage dump, he picked up the tiniest bit of a shingara (hindi translation samosa) and ate it!!!!! My God, he ate that!!!! that!!!!! He then proceeded to pick up another fungus infested sweet packet and lick the remaining fragments and bits of sweets!!

My whole mind, my whole soul, my whole heart came crashing down. Thud!! The stone platform never suddenly seemed to so hard. I wanted to cry, to shout out, "NO". But I couldn't. I have seen poverty, poverty of the lowest rungs (or I thought), but never this. This was appalling. I hated my new jeans. I hated the unreal arrogance with which I viewed him. I hated the rupees in my pocket. I hated the ice-creams, soft drinks, the pastries that i ever ate in my whole life. I was ashamed of my extravagance.

Why does he live? Why does he keep on continuing his living under such conditions? Why doesn't he kill himself? A man lives for his hopes, a hope that his hopes will one day come true. But what hope does he have? He knows he is destined to be God's forgotten child all his life. Then why does he live? Why doesn't he kill himself?

Why do I live? Why do you live? Why there is disease? Why their is savage hardships, savage injustice? Why do we keep on living knowing that old age awaits us. Miseries await us. Nightmares await us. And finally Death awaits us. Why do we still live in this hell?Buddha became enlightened. He attained nirvana. He understood the world, and its paradoxes of happiness and miseries. Maybe that's life. He became the blessed one. While we the ignorant continue to burn in this hell...

Soap Blues

2007-05-15T12:39:00.000+05:30

Can you tolerate them? No, I can't. Never. No. They cause headaches, they cause me to hate my dinner (most of them come in the 8-10 slot), and cause almost daily fights between me and my mother. The Ekta Kapoor factory is spewing out loads of poison and millions of people (mostly housewives) are gulping it down as if it is 'amrit'.

Well don't think I just dislike them for the sake of disliking, 'cos I have got some extremely valid arguments. Now, tell me honestly, is there even an inkling of logic in the stories of soaps be it Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki or Kyunki Sas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi?? So now allow me to raise some of the points that irritate me highly :

1. These serials claim to project the common Indian household. Utter rubbish!! Each of these soap families are easily multi-millionaires. They talk of Rs. 50 lakh with as as much ease as the common man talks of Rs 500. And think of the average Indian household being millionaires.

2. In the highly irritating soap opera Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, main protagonist Parvati started off as a 32 something women (considering the fact that she had a daughter aged 10-12 years). After that the soap has undergone two 'leaps' of 20 years each. So that makes her age in the serial about 72 years!!!!! But does she look like a day over 30????!!!

3. Doubles or humshakals are as easy to find as trees in Sunderbans.

4. Whenever a man/women is shown driving a car an accident is imminent.

5. Even the dropping of a feather causes complete memory loss, but which comes magically back after the application of a well-timed slap.

6. The background score is enough to scare away even seasoned metal musicians.

7. Song and dance sequences that look worse than C grade movies.

And you can go on writing like this, it will never stop. And nor will the soaps. They will just go on....crazy kiya re (in the most derogatory manner possible) !!

PS: (on a more fantastic note) I am just waiting for the day when some true lover of the TV will shoot Ekta Kapoor down.

Absolute Friends

2007-05-15T11:30:00.000+05:30

On my recent trip to Bangalore (on which I propose to write soon), I came across a bookshop on M.G. Road which was selling some books at a discount. Lucky me, and couldn't stop myself from picking up three books, much to the chagrin of my father ("Have you come to Bangalore to buy books???!!!"). One of the books was Absolute Friends by John le Carre of The Constant Gardener fame. And I don't think I will ever regret it.

The timeline of this novel is quite vast, and the story writing unlike any spy novel I have read so far. Its a tale of loyalty, betrayal, and international espionage that spans the lives of two friends from the riot-torn West Berlin of the 1960's to the grimy Cold War Europe to the present day of terrorism. There's even an sprinkling of India-Pakistan Partition in the beginning, as the main protagonist Ted Mundy was born in Lahore (where his father was an officer in the British Indian Army) and left Pakistan only in 1956.

This is le Carre is his finest form. The anger, the disappointments run cold and clear. The pacing of the story is sharp, with an irresistible snap, the wry social observation is bite and the background knife-play deadly. But I think the greatest thing in this novel is that he shows us without sentimentality or self-righteousness that a deeply moving, deeply personal story can be alloyed with a powerful political argument and that a single novel can express both an immediate sense of grievance and the melancholy perspective of an old man looking back on a long life lived in a tragic, tumultuous century.

The few tears at the ending are a fitting tribute to the memory of Ted Mundy and his absolute friend Sasha.

Reliance Fresh gets a Dosage

2007-05-14T20:46:00.001+05:30

I had been thinking for quite a time whether this new phenomenon of huge companies foraying into the retail sector is good or bad. Somebody said this, and somebody said that. But still the questions remained. Is it good for the common man? Is it good for the country?

Lately, I think I have got a answer. You see, I have got some socialist tendencies, and thats why it makes it a little more difficult for me to take a stand on this situation. But now I think I am indeed in favour of this. And the reason is this :

"H.G. Narendra Babu at Bangalore’s Koramnagla and Sobti Medical Store in Delhi’s Janakpuri claim that sales have dropped by 20 per cent ever since Subhiksha opened an outlet across the road. Rohan Swaminathan has been struggling to stay afloat next to a Food World store in Bangalore for the past two years. A study by Anuradha Kalhan, professor at Mumbai’s Jai Hind College, says that sales declined in 71 per cent of small businesses and among 72 per cent of hawkers who operate in the vicinity of big malls in the city. Similar studies will show more evidence of displacement, says Prasenjit Bose, economist at the CPM’s research cell. Indeed, the first ICRIER study notes that in Latin America both domestic and foreign chains took over independent retailers and regional chains, while many local players had to shut shop in Thailand. The ability of large chains to buy in bulk and transport products more efficiently will, Gibson Vedamani, CEO of the Retailers Association of India, agrees, enable them to sell products cheaply. Subhiksha cuts out the retailers’ margin of 13 per cent on medicines by dealing directly with the wholesaler. Prices of fruits and vegetables increase by 125-150 per cent between the farmer and the consumer. It’s not just intermediaries, but inefficient transportation and wastage that push costs up. Big chains, say consultants, do this more efficiently and pass on the cost cuts to consumers. Still, Ranjan Biswas, head, retail and consumer products leader, Ernst & Young, the consultancy firm, feels small shops won’t die out entirely, as they have the advantage of being conveniently located. Besides, small shops are also fighting back. They’re joining hands to procure supplies on economical terms, sprucing up their stores and even charging big consumer companies to put their products on their shelves. Some have chosen to become franchisees of big chains (all of Reliance Fresh’s 145 outlets are franchises). “The smarter retailer will survive,” says Biswas. Similarly, ITC’s pushcarts scheme, says S. Sivakumar, chief executive of ITC’s agri-business, plans to involve existing hawkers. In fact, a micro-finance organisation Basix has approached ITC to help women headload vendors switch to pushcarts. Subramanian can’t understand what the fuss is about, since big chains are more efficient. “We did not cry when Maruti put Ambassador and Padmini out of business; why cry for these guys?” Well, the numbers involved are far bigger in this case and many of them are poor. “The idea that savings for 1.3 billion consumers are to be blocked to save 4 million traders is insane. PCOs shut down when mobile telephony expanded; can we block mobile telephony for that,” retorts Subramanian. Contends Malay Dave, CEO of the Ahmedabad-based Consumer Education and Research Centre, “The good old corner shops have been taking Indian consumers for a ride all these years.” He believes that the entry of big chains will discipline the market, bring in choice and quality and better prices."

Quite right too, couldn't disagree with it. Its time for everybody to sit up and take notice, and in haste too. The days of complacency are gone. And yes, its a harsh harsh world...

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